Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Book on Crazy!

I always said I could write a book on crazy. If I wasn't so lazy it would probably happen. Well let's not even call it lazy, lets just say I'm too busy to worry about writing a story on all the flipping lunatics I come into contact with. So yeah, I'll just blog about it. So I'm a bartender. If you follow this blog you know this already. Anyhow so I bartend a this great little spot in the South Side, in Pittsburgh. It's a great place, and for the most part really great people come in. But every once in a while. BAM!! CRAZY!!! The other day I'm busy for lunch. I got people in the back, people at the bar and people out front. No problem though, I thrive on being busy. Well in walks this weird dude. I could tell he was weird from jump, he just had a crazy aura. Well he sits at the bar and orders a coffee and tries to make small talk. I'm too busy for small talk, but still I try to remain polite. Dude pays for his coffee and leaves. Only to come back we'll say twenty minutes later. This time he orders lunch. Once again he tries to make small talk and once again I'm just too busy to conversate. So he pays and leaves again. I think GREAT!! The crazy guy is gone. Yeah thats what I thought until four o' clock on the dot and in he walks and plops down at the bar and says, it's thirty cent wings now isn't it? Yes it is ugh. So he orders ten wings and once again I'm TOO BUSY TO TALK!! I reach into the freezer to grab some nice icy cold mugs and he says to me, "What are you thinking?" What am I thinking? What the hell kind of quiestion is that? I said, "I'm thinking about filling these glasses up with the drinks these people ordered." Walk away. Walk back and he says, (this is the best part) "What is that on your left hand, WHAT IS THAT?" I look frantic thinking there is one of those wretched stink bugs on me and I see nothing. So I look at him clueless. He says, "Is that a wedding ring?" Mind you he was obviously upset at this point. I said, "Oh yeah, thats my engagement ring and wedding ring, why?" Here's the kicker. He says, "I have been COURTING you all day and you didn't tell me you were married!!"

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????????? I didn't miss a beat allthough I'm sure my eyes nearly popped out of my head and I said, "I've had these rings on all day I never take them off. I was unaware that by sitting at the bar while I'm working is known as courting and I apologize sincerely (very sarcastically) if you think that me taking your order was leading you on. You owe me $5.64 for your wings and sir, have a great day."

I was completely baffled by this. All I can say is there is plenty of crazy to go around.

No comments:

Post a Comment