Friday, July 16, 2010

The Thorn in My Side

Ralph. What kind of a name is that for a dog? Well that name belongs to my mutt. Shortly after I moved in with my darling husband Jeff I began to crave the companionship of a pet. So I begged and begged and begged for a dog. I really wanted to adopt one from the pound. Well we visited the Animal Rescue League, where I saw the cutest dog, his name was Ollie. Well Jeff said we were just looking that day so we went home. :( I wanted a dog so bad you don't understand. A couple of weeks passed and we were headed back to ARL.

I finally got to meet Ollie!!! What A JERK! I mean talk about anti-climatic. This dog was a pain in the neck as soon as we got into the meet and greet room. I was sour. Jeff was happy. Happy, until I said, well lets look at some other dogs. We walked around the pound again and thats when I spotted HIM. His name was Toby. He was laying down and he looked absolutely pathetic. I asked the lady to meet him. We got him in the room and he was so sweet. Well we took him home. He had a big patch of fur missing from being in the slammer for so long and smelled horrific. Well Jeff decided that he should be the one to name him. So he suggested Ralph. I hated the name. That should have been my first clue that this dog was going to be a pain. He then proceeded to puke all over me. Ralph it is.

Fast forward to this dog, this beast, chewing his way out of a varikennel and tearing the house up. He has tore up countless pillows, blankets, and tons of garbage. Ralph has spread his "joy" throughout the house and he figured a new trick out; getting out of the backyard. He runs the neighborhood like a gigantic rabid beast. His long gangly legs are attached to a huge muscular body that is attached to a thick neck that is attached to a peanut head with ears that are much too small and he has a point at the top of his head. He is ugly. People say he's cute in that tone that someone would tell you your ugly baby is cute. He's not cute. He aggravates me on a daily basis. However it should be said that for all his downfalls he does provide us with hours of entertainment. He's quick to learn tricks and he is the cuddliest dog I've ever had. He snuggles like no other. Is he a brat? Yes! Have I fantasized about ending his life? Plenty of times. Do I love this beast? With all my heart.

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