Growing up = figuring out the important things.

All your life you are told that you have to get a great education and that you have to have a good job so that you make a lot of money so that you are happy. We define ourselves in this country by our careers and accomplishments. I absolutely agree that a solid education is extremely valuable, however, for some people myself included secondary education is not in the cards. Either it is financial or situational. I'm not a stupid person and I'm not lazy. I would love to say that I wish I could go to school but thats just not true. Is it possible to be happy without having a title? Yes, it is. So a few years ago I went back to a day job, so called a "real job." So when I meet people and the conversation comes up of "what do you do for a living," I could say oh I'm an Optician. Whereas when I was a bartender people would physically look alarmed, like OH MY GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN?? YOU ARE JUST A BARTENDER? Well I flipping hated my day job more than anything. The everyday stress weighed down upon me and there were times I thought I would snap and actually I may have snapped a few times. The deep hatred for dealing with people on the level I had to deal with them on was manifesting itself into my personal life. I was a cranky bitch and a ball of stress. Something inside of me snapped and here I am bartending again. Well guess what? I love it and I'm not ashamed of what I do. I have fun at work and I make just as much money sometimes more as I did when I had a so called real job. I get to meet people everyday and laugh the entire time I am at work. I smile so much my face hurts. Sure some people are jerks but I only have to deal with them for an hour or less and then I never see them again. I have the added benefit of getting to be home with my kids all day and having the luxury of being able to take care of my house. My day job didn't allow that. It's taken me all these years to realize that I don't give a damn what people think about what I do for a living. My life is not defined by my job. It is defined by the amazingly beautiful husband I have and the two awesome little boys I have, and the laughter and love that grows daily in our home. It is defined by my wonderful parents and my two brothers. It is defined by my entire extended family the ones who have supported me and the ones I don'tunderstand. It is defined by the miracle of friendship that I am so grateful to have found in a few people. My life is defined by the songs I sing that make me happy, and by the two puppy faces that give me slobbery kisses. My life is defined by all the amazing things that no man or woman can judge me on. My life is defined by my past that has kicked my ass and made me into a stronger woman. My life is just that, my life. So if I'm happy in it then I don't care if I'm scrubbing toilets for a living. I'm proud of who I am and where I'm at. I love my life.

Highschool vs Real Life

Remember in highschool when you would be up in your room bawling your eyes out because it felt like the end of the world because such and such was talking about you, or there was a viscious rumor being spread? Remember your parents response; "This is highschool honey, when you get into the real world none of this will matter anymore." Well they lied. At least in part. Allow me to elaborate. Sure you don't care what whats her face said anymore, but people still spread rumors, there are still cliques and your prom queen well now shes whoever is hot in Hollywood. We still compare ourselves to people we feel are superior or even substandard. We still get ourselves upset about other peoples big flappin gums. Life is one big popularity contest. We have been groomed for this popularity contest since childhood. Everyone wants to be well liked and well recieved by others and dare I say, famous? Reality is highschool was real life, we just have bigger more important problems and more absurd situations and some of us grew out of our awkwardness. So thank you highschool for preparing us for life.

The Cycle

Ever hear of kids "pre-gaming" meals? No? Well mine do. First thing in the morning after, "good morning mommy," is can we have some cereal. No sooner is the cereal bowl empty, I have two pairs of huge blue eyes staring me down. "We are ready for our real breakfast now." Real breakfast= anything as long as its cooked. So I have no choice I have to scramble some eggs, or mix up some pancakes, usually sausage will suffice and earns and extra, "thanks mom you're awesome." Shortly after "real breakfast" is engulfed the blue eyes are burning holes through me again. "Where is our after breakfast snack?" Again, I am in the kitchen. I then have to clean the kitchen, yay! I have learned a lesson now, and that lesson is cook for lunch for crying out loud. Don't even bother making a sandwich, cause then I get the where's our real lunch. No sooner are the dishes done from breakfast and lunch that I am getting dinner together and whats the point to this story? I am peering into my kitchen and the dinner dishes need to be done, because I'll have to make "real breakfast" tomorrow morning.

Say It To My Face!

How many times as a female have we heard the phrase "say it to my face?" Only a million times. Guess what? You don't mean it when you say, "say it to my face." At leat thats what I think. I don't want anyone to say it to my face, at least if you are talking "behind my back," there is a chance it won't get back to me and even if it does it will have been twisted and contorted so many times I won't take it for fact. However, if you say it to my face there is a good chance someone is going to get punched in the face. So what sparked this you ask? There is someone (yay I'm talking behind her back!!) that is hinting that she may have heard that I may have talked behind her back. I did, but in fairness the things I said are all true and I did say some things directly to her because I think she is in the wrong. I did not, however tell her exactly what I think of her and what other people think of her and her husband and how freaking crazy and ridiculous they. Now if I walked up to her front door, knocked on it and she answered and I were to say:
"Hey Face! I think you are a disgusting human being, you pop too many pills, you drink too much and act like an asshole, your husband is a disgusting fat pig and every woman around is so sad that you have to lay in bed with him and we are all sick of you guys arguing about your sex life in front of everyone. You are a joke, and a loser and I can't stand you. I'm glad I always think of a reason not to hang out with you and I hope I never see your face again."

Really? You would rather someone say all that to your face? Just sayin................................

Really Strange Girls Night Out

So my girlfriends and I decided to meet up in Oakland at Mad Mex for some Big Azzzz Margaritas. Of course we get there and there were so many people we couldn't fight our way to the bar. Ho hum......what to do..... So we put our names on the waiting list for a table and were told it would be at least a half an hour. So myself, Heidi and Moira decided to walk down the street a little ways to India Garden to get a drink. We sat down and the guy, maybe the manager, carded us and took our drink order. He grabbed three glasses and looked lost put four cubes of ice in Heidi's glass and poured a ton of vodka in the glass splashed it with cranberry juice and put it in front of her. Meanwhile Moira is signaling me to get behind the bar and make our drinks. He then grabs a can of tomato juice looks at me and says "this isn't right" and walks away...............................he never came back. We thought we must have been on a hidden camera show or something, it was so bizarre. Heidi says lets just go. Well then another guy came out and started walking around but wouldn't acknowledge our presence. He disappeared behind the same door and we ran out. I still don't know what happened. Strange. Thankfully though we finally got our Big Azz Margaritas.

Facebook Games ie Zynga Games

I'm seriously ashamed of myself for the hours I put into "farming," and a "pet" in Petville. I have two dogs and I may have planted a real vegetable once in my entire life. Why is this so damn appealing to me? It's not! But yet I seriously get angry when my crops wilt or my pet runs away! The newest game Zynga has thrown at me FRONTIERVILLE! GRRRRRR This one is really addictive! It's like the Alpha dog of all Zynga games! What a huge waste of time. Now I get to plant crops and scare bears and beat snakes. I know it's stupid there is no payoff and yet I can't stop playing them. ahhhhhhhhhhh sigh!