Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Growing up = figuring out the important things.

All your life you are told that you have to get a great education and that you have to have a good job so that you make a lot of money so that you are happy. We define ourselves in this country by our careers and accomplishments. I absolutely agree that a solid education is extremely valuable, however, for some people myself included secondary education is not in the cards. Either it is financial or situational. I'm not a stupid person and I'm not lazy. I would love to say that I wish I could go to school but thats just not true. Is it possible to be happy without having a title? Yes, it is. So a few years ago I went back to a day job, so called a "real job." So when I meet people and the conversation comes up of "what do you do for a living," I could say oh I'm an Optician. Whereas when I was a bartender people would physically look alarmed, like OH MY GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN?? YOU ARE JUST A BARTENDER? Well I flipping hated my day job more than anything. The everyday stress weighed down upon me and there were times I thought I would snap and actually I may have snapped a few times. The deep hatred for dealing with people on the level I had to deal with them on was manifesting itself into my personal life. I was a cranky bitch and a ball of stress. Something inside of me snapped and here I am bartending again. Well guess what? I love it and I'm not ashamed of what I do. I have fun at work and I make just as much money sometimes more as I did when I had a so called real job. I get to meet people everyday and laugh the entire time I am at work. I smile so much my face hurts. Sure some people are jerks but I only have to deal with them for an hour or less and then I never see them again. I have the added benefit of getting to be home with my kids all day and having the luxury of being able to take care of my house. My day job didn't allow that. It's taken me all these years to realize that I don't give a damn what people think about what I do for a living. My life is not defined by my job. It is defined by the amazingly beautiful husband I have and the two awesome little boys I have, and the laughter and love that grows daily in our home. It is defined by my wonderful parents and my two brothers. It is defined by my entire extended family the ones who have supported me and the ones I don'tunderstand. It is defined by the miracle of friendship that I am so grateful to have found in a few people. My life is defined by the songs I sing that make me happy, and by the two puppy faces that give me slobbery kisses. My life is defined by all the amazing things that no man or woman can judge me on. My life is defined by my past that has kicked my ass and made me into a stronger woman. My life is just that, my life. So if I'm happy in it then I don't care if I'm scrubbing toilets for a living. I'm proud of who I am and where I'm at. I love my life.

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