The Thorn in My Side

Ralph. What kind of a name is that for a dog? Well that name belongs to my mutt. Shortly after I moved in with my darling husband Jeff I began to crave the companionship of a pet. So I begged and begged and begged for a dog. I really wanted to adopt one from the pound. Well we visited the Animal Rescue League, where I saw the cutest dog, his name was Ollie. Well Jeff said we were just looking that day so we went home. :( I wanted a dog so bad you don't understand. A couple of weeks passed and we were headed back to ARL.

I finally got to meet Ollie!!! What A JERK! I mean talk about anti-climatic. This dog was a pain in the neck as soon as we got into the meet and greet room. I was sour. Jeff was happy. Happy, until I said, well lets look at some other dogs. We walked around the pound again and thats when I spotted HIM. His name was Toby. He was laying down and he looked absolutely pathetic. I asked the lady to meet him. We got him in the room and he was so sweet. Well we took him home. He had a big patch of fur missing from being in the slammer for so long and smelled horrific. Well Jeff decided that he should be the one to name him. So he suggested Ralph. I hated the name. That should have been my first clue that this dog was going to be a pain. He then proceeded to puke all over me. Ralph it is.

Fast forward to this dog, this beast, chewing his way out of a varikennel and tearing the house up. He has tore up countless pillows, blankets, and tons of garbage. Ralph has spread his "joy" throughout the house and he figured a new trick out; getting out of the backyard. He runs the neighborhood like a gigantic rabid beast. His long gangly legs are attached to a huge muscular body that is attached to a thick neck that is attached to a peanut head with ears that are much too small and he has a point at the top of his head. He is ugly. People say he's cute in that tone that someone would tell you your ugly baby is cute. He's not cute. He aggravates me on a daily basis. However it should be said that for all his downfalls he does provide us with hours of entertainment. He's quick to learn tricks and he is the cuddliest dog I've ever had. He snuggles like no other. Is he a brat? Yes! Have I fantasized about ending his life? Plenty of times. Do I love this beast? With all my heart.

Things that annoy me........

Just a short list of things that annoy me.

When a candle burns out on it's own. I'm never prepared for that bad smell after smelling so much good smell when the candle burns out on its own.

Dogs barking at nothing. Mine don't do it often but when they do I feel like punching them.

My kids touching the walls. This is seriously irriatating to me because it took me hours of hard labor to paint the walls and they get their grimey little boy hands all over them ugh.

People that think the world owes them something. Get over yourself.

Lady Gaga annoys me. In her own right she is probably a decent singer however I will never like her as long as she has songs about nothing with electronic vocalisation coupled with idiotic outfits and a persona that she pretends she is so dark. I'm not into people that think "shocking" is soooooo coool Hey "GAGA" Marilyn Manson and Madonna already did it.

1800 numbers calling for people that don't live in our house.

These are just things that have annoyed me today. Oh well I'm sure tomorrow will bring new things!! YAY!!!

My Love Story

Dreams. I remember nearly the exact moment in my life when I became jaded. I remember thinking, things can't get better for me. They won't. I'll be hard and protect myself from ever getting hurt again. Enter Jeff. Yes just like that, just like a movie. I thought, wow now this is a real man. He's not one of the macho egotistical jerks I usually attract. Why is it that I attract those kind of men to my life? He was, is everything wonderful to me. Never had I been met with such patience and such sweetness in my entire life. We had a conversation one night close to the time we first started seeing each other. We stayed up so late just talking about life. I remember trusting him immediately enough to let go and tell him why I was such a train wreck. He looked at me as he was sitting backwards in his office chair in his basement and said to me the sweetest words, "Stick with me, and I promise, things will get better." The thought didn't even cross my mind that he had ulterior motives. I just trusted him, blindly. We stayed up and the sun came up and he said, "I'm going to do something I've never done before, I'm going to call off work." He did and we continued to watch some ridiculous movie I think Fat Boys or something like that and he twirled my hair around and I leaned into him and I was so comfortable. I did have butterflies the entire flipping time though! Finally, he leaned in and kissed me. It was to this day the single most perfect kiss of my life. I knew I loved him in that instant. I loved him so much it hurt. My heart was safe and although I didn't have the courage to tell him I believe I told all of my girlfriends shortly thereafter. They say that life is made up of just a few short definable moments. That kiss was definitely one of them. If someone would have told me then that this would be the man that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, I would not have doubted that.

Fast forward to our date. I had my kids with me, this was the real test you see. There was Jeff in his big green truck and we were standing on the sidewalk waiting to go into Fridays, he had in his hands flowers for me, lilies to be exact, my favorite. And he had toys for my boys too. My heart melted, because he listened to me. Throughout our many conversations he gathered enough information to know exactly what Tyler and Dustin liked and he remembered that lilies were my favorite flowers. After an animated dinner courtesy of Tyler and Dustin, we headed off to Dairy Queen. I finally got the boys ready to go home when Dustin said from the backseat, "Mommy, I love Jeff." Tyler not wanting to be outdone said, "I love him too Mommy." I laughed, "Is it because he bought you toys and ice cream?" Tyler said, "Yeah that too, but he's nice and he makes you happy." My eyes misted and I instantly had a moment of clarity. He made me so happy and he was so different from anyone I had have EVER dated before.

Fast Forward to a concert we went to with our dear friends Tiffers and Matt. We had so much fun! I laughed so hard and smiled till my face hurt. We were on our way back to Jeff's house and he had a terrible headache. We stopped in a gas station and bought some Tylenol. When we got to his house we went to bed and I was nearly asleep but he kept tossing and turning and finally he said, "Babe, I have something I have to tell you." I damn near panicked, oh god here is when that other shoe is going to drop. Here is the part where he tells me something insane. He faced me and said, "I'm in love with you." With me? Imagine that! I was so beside myself. When I finally found my words I told him I was in love with him too and had been. He said, "I know that's why I could tell you. I could just tell you love me." I think that made my heart skip a beat even more.

So now I am lucky enough to be Jeff's wife. We had a quiet little wedding in Monongahela Town Hall and it was perfect. I now know what it means to be respected and loved. Not just the meaningless words I love you, followed by being treated like crap. I'm really loved. My Jeff always loves me, he loves me crazy, sad, happy. He loves me. He is such a good husband and he is my best friend, my confidante, my comedian, my soul. I will love him until my soul dies, till there is nothing left of me in this universe. Till every part of me is dissolved. I will love him longer than forever. He really has been here for me for better of for worse, even before he put this beautiful sapphire ring on my finger. Jeff is a real man and I have stuck with him, and things get better every day.